Freeing Trust

A poem

Photo by Karim Mansour on Unsplash

trust everyone
everything
life
to doubt people 
nature
even the shenaniganistic neuroses
is to doubt existence

and who am i to doubt?
upon what real evidence?
what do i know?
what does that do for anyone?
who says homo sapiens need to continue existing, anyway?
besides my entitlement and anthropocentric self-centeredness
reinforced by seemingly every person and thing
of course
it seems like there was a lot of life and existence
besides us and before us already

maybe we're the tiniest fraction 
of not even a chapter of all of life
like the infinitesimal whitespace 
before the first letter
of the first page 
of the story of existence's history
who or what besides my eyes and image
says i'm the center? 
so important!
it's too bad to miss the rest of what's here
what's playing in the game with us
while it may not be to mind's preference
what does it really know?
existence seems to be doing fine
i don't hear it complaining
if anything
i hear it laughing

if i don't want to be insane for my whole life
don't i have to at least try assuming it's got things covered?
and if there is something trustable to it
to our world
the emergence and disappearance of all
how tragic and exhausting to worry so much
trying to control so much
as if under a delusional spell
trying to figure out 
take care and fix
while paving the road to hell
and missing out on 
how existence's dancing maybe actually works
without micromanaging
second guessing
realizing that my part of the dance
the preordained movements of my body and life 
informed by what's so unfathomably beyond my conception
were not like what i was taught
by those who didn't trust or know their own movement
and couldn't show me mine
the incomprehensibly inspired movement 
upon which i know 
i can safely gamble it all
the livelihood of all of Everything
that ever was, is, or will be
while relaxed and at ease
simply watching to see 
what happens

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